Small town boy in San Francisco

** Warning  Graphic  Content **  The following post contains language and event descriptions that some may find  disturbing, they were disturbing when they happened,  and beyond  and I have  kept most of the details limited to  innuendo but it is still a disturbing post – read at your discretion or bypass it altogether for some of my other more light hearted posts.  Continue reading

Suicide is Painless

– no it’s not! If you’re thinking about killing yourself  call 1-800-273-8255

The title of this post is  misleading –   “Suicide is Painless”  is a song title – it was the theme song to  the TV show M*A*S*H , loved the show and  I even used the song as an audition song in my acting days. Not because I was very good at singing it, but because it evoked emotion in me. But it is a misnomer. Even those of us that contemplate it  know that.  Wait,  WHAT?  Us?  You?   Yep me…..  I am a person who has contemplated suicide many times and may have attempted it a time time or two.  But  that doesn’t come close to defining who I am. I am not my mental health.  Continue reading

Ripples – Edited and updated for 2016

**WARNING –  Seriously  this is  a real WARNING**  –  the below  post contains some  very graphic language, and  depictions of traumatic, tragic  and disturbing  events including death and destruction.  Please  read at your  own  discretion** Continue reading

Eye opening bucket list

I just celebrated a  birthday, not  any big milestone birthday , but closer to  then end than the beginning for sure…  as  a “gift” to myself  I booked  several Dr’s appointments   since I’ve been  very bad about  going to  Dr’s for a bit now…  I’ve had some  bad experiences  so I put it off and  kept putting them off. So  for my birthday ,  I booked  an eye Dr, a heart Dr and  a  couple different Primary  care Dr.  appts. Continue reading

Dreams

As most of my loyal readers know or have figured out, I have PTSD. I’ve had it and dealt with it for many years. I’ve tried many less than effective “treatments” over the years. Some not so smart, but that was before I really knew what it was that was “wrong with me…. After my actual diagnosis, I tired medication but didn’t care for how it made me feel… then I just tried to deal with it on my own, that didn’t work so well. I lived with it and helped other people and animals as much I could. Now that I can’t even do that, except through online activities ( I do hope to get back to being able to physically do some more work with wildlife and people again in the future) I am really feeling the depression side of the “disorder”. But unlike a lot of people, and unlike a younger dumber me, I am getting real help now… talking with a counselor, getting EMDR therapy, and looking into natural as well as maybe chemical assistance ( not alcohol or drugs sheesh… medication if necessary – going to work with a naturopath first). OK so enough of THAT nightmare stuff… let’s get to something a little more uplifting – Hopes and Dreams….

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Ripples

**WARNING –  Seriously  this is  a real WARNING**  –  the below  post contains some  very graphic language, and  depictions of traumatic, tragic  and disturbing  events including death and destruction.  Please  read at your  own  discretion** Continue reading