~Short Stories vol 2 “That’s Bull”

As I hiked through the  deep snow, trying to be as quiet as possible,  I was  shaken from the winter silence  by  a crunch. The sound  was up slope from me.  I  stopped in my tracks holding my breath and  trying to focus on the sound’s location but it had ceased. I had to wait, though waiting meant  having the cold set in.  The sweat under my clothes would begin to freeze  soon but I had no choice.

The minutes passed, I slowly exhaled.  My frozen breath lingering in the air. That’s a good thing, no wind.  It’s only  midday but  up here, the minutes can quickly  turn into hours  and  the daylight doesn’t last long  this time of year.

Crunch, Crunch I Hear it again!  My heart speeds up,  I  scan  through the Douglas Firs and Alders looking for the source  but seeing nothing.

There’s  movement out of the corner of my eye!  45 degrees uphill to my right.  I  slowly  turn my head, my face covered in camouflage paint shouldn’t draw attention.  I see tan through the trees.  The minutes are flying by  now,  my breathing slows as I see the  deep brown and the ivory colors I’ve been searching  years  to find.

I prepare my bow, slowly  I draw back. Looking down the shaft of the arrow I see the exact spot , the perfect shot  just behind the  front leg.  The Elk is  facing slightly uphill and  I have  a shooting lane through the  trees. The perfect bow hunting  scenario.

Deep breath in, hold it, exhale,  I blink and the  bull turns his  head towards me as if he could feel my eyes  on him.   I see he is at least 6 points of magnificence on  both sides with the tips of his antlers  easily 8 feet off the ground.

I unconsciously  shudder, the arrow falls off the rest.  The tiniest of sounds, but the Bull knows it didn’t belong, he  gives out one long snort and  in a cloud of snow dust he is gone.

His breath and mine linger in the mountain air as I contemplate the story, one  that no one will believe.

6 thoughts on “~Short Stories vol 2 “That’s Bull”

  1. I liked it. I could totally picture it. There are some sentences where I think a comma would help seal the impact. That slight pause can make a difference. Then again, I tend to over use them I think. Not sure if everyone will connect the dots on why you were sweating and how that can impact you in that scenario, so that may confuse some readers. But for a short story, it landed for me. I felt your loss. Good job Mikey!

  2. Nice story Mike, I knew you would see the elk as too beautiful a creature to shoot him! Good descritive narrative and I too think you should have used a comma for the reader to pause and reflect while reading to gather feelings.

be so kind as to tell me what you think... good or "constructive" is appreciated... and if you have suggestions for topics.